These are questions people actually ask me when they begin. If yours is not here, please send it. Questions from readers are how this page grows and they will likely be helpful for others.
Am I too old to start meditating?
No. I have taught people who began at 84. There is no age limit on learning how to be pay attention and to be mindful.
There is a reason older beginners often do well. Mindfulness is all about being quiet and paying attention to this moment without rushing to change something. That is a skill most people only acquire as they age. You may find you have been preparing for this for decades.
How long before I notice anything?
Some people notice a subtle sense of peace during the first session. After a few weeks of consistent practice, most people notice changes such as sleeping a little better, or getting less rattled by something that used to set them off, having fewer mishaps, or improved cognitive skills.
My mind will not stop wandering. Am I doing it wrong?
No, not at all. This is a common worry, and it is based on a misunderstanding of what mindfulness meditation is.
The aim is not to have a blank mind. Just pay attention to the mind, thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc. without trying to judge or control them. Just observe. Nothing more. Keep it simple.
Do I have to sit on the floor?
No. Sit in an ordinary chair, sofa, or a bench, sit up in bed, lie down, walk. You can do mindfulness exercises on a bus, train, airplane, in a public place. Remember, mindfulness is paying close attention without judgment – this you can do anywhere and in any position.
Is mindfulness religious?
No, it is not, and it will not require you change or adjust your faith or that you have any faith at all.
Paying close attention to the present moment and place is a human capacity, not a belief system or religion. People of every religion and none practice it. Mindfulness is is essentially the skill of being fully present and observing objectively the here and now, and not being somewhere else. It is simply that.
I have trouble hearing. Can I still do this?
Yes. Every meditation is written out in full so you can read it, and the practices work through breath, touch, and sight as much as sound.
If you use the audio recordings, they can be played through headphones or a hearing aid connection, and the written versions cover the same ground.
I get drowsy or fall asleep. What should I do?
If you find yourself falling sleep, sit upright in a chair rather than in an armchair or bed. Practice earlier in the day rather than at night. Open your eyes and try the eyes open practices instead of a closed-eye one.
You can also shorten the mindfulness exercise if you find yourself falling asleep.
And sometimes, falling asleep is exactly what you need.
Will this help with pain?
Mindfulness can help you cope with pain but it will not, necessarily, end the pain. It may also help you notice the pain, the source of the pain or what triggers the pain. You may also discover practices to help you to alleviate the pain. This is worth discussing with your doctor. Mindfulness is a complement to medical care, not a replacement for it.
Is there anyone who should be careful with this?
For most people mindfulness is simply focused attention and gentle breathing, and it is very safe.
If you have a history of serious trauma, or you are currently in deep and persistent depression, sitting quietly with your own mind can bring difficult material to the surface. That is not a reason to avoid it, but it is a good reason to learn with support rather than alone. Write to me and we can talk about it, or work with a therapist near you who can support you and teach you mindfulness.
I have tried before and gave up. Why would this time be different?
Sometimes the first attempt was too long. People will often try to start with twenty minutes and may find it too long. They may try a mindfulness exercise that is not suited to them or without proper instruction and believe that mindfulness meditation is not for them.
Start with the first simple mindfulness exercise. Thirty seconds, several times a day. Thirty seconds is easy and you can do it any time, any place and during any activity. Make it as simple as possible.
Can I help my mother or father with this?
Yes, and the way you do it matters. Offering to learn it with them tends to work far better than showing them a website and suggesting they try it.
Do not present it as something to fix them. Present it as something you are curious about yourself. Sit and do any of the mindfulness exercises together. You will both benefit.
Where should I start?
I would suggest starting with the first Mindfulness exercise and then doing each of the others in order. Everything else on this site follows from that first one. The more you practice the more effective mindfulness becomes. The exercises are designed to be short and easy to do. As you progress you will enjoy even more difficult mindfulness exercises. There are many to choose from as we move forward.